My friend has turned into a huge complainer, and I don’t know what to do about it. I want to be there for her and support her, but she finds something wrong with every situation, every person, everything! Help me tell her to stop without her thinking I don’t love her and want to support her. I have found myself avoiding going out with her because it depresses me.
No Whine, with Dinner
Dear No Whine, with Dinner,
I must say this can be tricky! Although it may be hard to be around someone who is often negative, sometimes they are the ones that need us most. I would caution you on just avoiding her because there may be a real issue going on and losing a friend might not be the best thing for her.
Maybe try to start spinning all of her negative comments into something positive for a while. Try showing her that although there are negative things going on, life is what we make it. We can wake up and decide in less than thirty seconds if it will be a good day or a bad day.
If the pattern continues, I would encourage her to go and talk to a professional about all of the negative energy she is feeling. Just let her know that you want her to be happy again and maybe even offer to go along to the appointment to support her. Making someone see the negative energy they are putting out can be tricky, but you sound like a great friend who can help her through this dark cloud.