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Sunday, April 18, 2021

    Dear Miss Pearl: A Stinky Situation

    Dear Miss Pearl
    Dear Miss Pearl
    Miss Pearl, a well-loved member of the Muscatine Community, has many years of experience helping others through challenging times. She looks forward to helping you solve all of life's problems, large and small.

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    Dear Miss Pearl,

    I’ve been married to a wonderful man for almost forty years. Thirty-six of those were extremely happy, but the last four have been miserable. I feel like I’ve been deceived…my sweet, loving, proper husband, who wouldn’t say a word about flatulence, has now become a human gas machine, complete with sound effects. He can be sound asleep even and it smells so bad it wakes me up. Sometimes when he gets out of a chair, I can hear him tooting clear in the next room. He refuses to discuss this and acts like he is almost proud of it. Do you think I have a right to be mad?


    Gasping for Air

    Dear GFA,

    Well that just stinks!!! They have some over-the-counter medications for that or maybe try to pinpoint a specific food that is causing it. I mean I’m not saying you shouldn’t be mad, but you could start a local chapter of Gastric Disturbances Anonymous and at least have some people to sound off to before your happy household explodes!

    Sending good ‘Scents’ your way,

    Miss Pearl

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