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Thursday, August 5, 2021

    My Hips Don’t Lie

    Tony Tone
    Tony Tone has worked as a radio personality in Muscatine and the Quad Cities since 2006. He currently serves as Muscatine Community School District Communication and Community Outreach Director and writes Talk of the Town with Tony Tone for the Discover Muscatine newspaper.

    Muscatine Living

    Sorry to disappoint any fans of the artist Shakira, but this column is not about her hit song from 2005. Rather, it was what happened to yours truly on Saturday, April 10.

    It was around 12:15 p.m., and I was in the middle of doing several loads of laundry, vacuuming the basement, and tidying things up. One small turn of my back and pop, out went my left hip. I’ve been going to chiropractors since 2010, and at this point, I have a pretty good idea when my adjustments “go out.”

    I tried a few home remedies to encourage my aforementioned hip to go back into place to no avail. The pain was easily a seven out of 10. Did I mention that I had my two youngest children at home while my wife and oldest son were on their way back from Galesburg?

    It was around 3:35 p.m. when I made the decision to text Dr. Jeff Hanssen, my chiropractor of nearly eight years here in Muscatine. In hindsight, I should have probably called him and pleaded my case for a Saturday afternoon adjustment, but I’m stubborn, and I’m also the type of person that thinks they can try things before really asking for help. So Doc Hanssen replied to my text with several good suggestions ranging from icing my lower back and hip, positions I could get into to try and get it to settle back into place, all while, of course, reminding me to watch the Master’s Golf Tournament.

    I’m pleased to report that one of the suggestions Doc Hanssen provided me worked, until I slipped and fell while taking out garbage later Saturday evening. I had been sitting upright on the couch with several pillows behind my back and all of a sudden, I stood up with no pain and started walking around the house. My wife even told me I should, “take it easy,” which I brushed off, put on my beloved flip-flops (that I bought last year from Quality Cobbler–seriously, they are incredible!), and headed outside to take out the garbage.

    I should mention that at this point it had stopped raining, but the grass was very slick, and it’s a bit of a small (really small) slope from our garage to where the garbage cans are housed. I made my first three trips without an issue and it was on the final approach that my left foot started to slide forward and everything went into slow motion. You know the feeling, you’ve been there, of realizing you’re about to fall and suddenly you’re watching it happen as if it were a scene out of a movie. I tried to correct my fall and landed directly on my right knee, which naturally caused my left hip to pop back out.

    Long story short, I found myself at Hanssen Chiropractic at 8:00 a.m. last Monday (to my credit I did leave a voicemail on their office line Sunday indicating that I would be there) and Doc was able to put this “Humpty Dumpty” back together again. The moral of this story faithful readers is don’t get old. Seriously, it’s about time one of you locates the fountain of youth and shares it with me, or at the very least finds me a new hip. 

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