The Mediocre Art of Gardening
by Tony Tone
May 09, 2020

My lawn will not be featured on the front page of “Lawn & Garden” anytime soon. Nor do I have the skills to cut the perfect lines in my grass. If anything, the pattern on my front yard is almost crooked!

Our neighbors do a tremendous job making their yards look picturesque. Meanwhile at my house, it would appear as if I have tied the lawn mower to my dog who was also trying to chase (one of the many) rabbits. Mowing grass while your five year old drives a battery powered John Deere tractor can also be a bit challenging.

My skill set should be higher with landscaping. It wasn’t too long ago (I was 14 and 15 years old) that I spent my summers working as a landscaper for Urban Farms, located on Roosevelt Road in Oak Park, Illinois (my hometown). I spent two summers working 40-50 hours per week landscaping, yet I didn’t retain any of those skills. Come to think of it, they mainly had me carrying tools and sod and not a lot of time mowing–it’s all starting to make more sense!

I don’t want you to think my grass is knee high or anything like that. We’re also no on the city of Muscatine’s list of houses that they’ve “suggested” cut their grass.

It’s just tough when some of my neighbors grass looks like a golf course. It kind of makes me want to not even come close to stepping on it for fear of leaving a giant, size 13 footprint. The easiest thing to do is calling my friend Shane that owns Lincoln Lawn Care and having his team cut it and let me take all the credit! Surely my neighbors wouldn’t notice someone on a riding mower verses me sweating it out with my push mower.

I’m also concerned about mastering the art of taking out dandelions that continue to pop-up on my lawn. Do you have a secret formula or way to prevent them? I know that some folks will even eat dandelions! Maybe I should start growing more and sell them at Hy-Vee?! “Tony Tone’s Famous Fried Dandelions” could be my retirement idea! It’s either that or winning the actual lottery, and if you have the winning numbers please share.

But seriously, if you have a suggestions please email me at [email protected]. I’d love to get rid of them without having to break the bank.

Here’s to our spring season that we’re getting to enjoy! Hasn’t it been nice having temps vary between 50-70 degrees? Fear not, the heat and humidity will be here soon. I for one am enjoying the current weather!

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