It happened again, and at this point, it shouldn’t really be a surprise. The world’s greatest escape hamster, Pickles, made it out of his race car cage. Maybe you saw the breaking news alert as it scrolled across the bottom of your screen. Or, perhaps it was the loud yell from a concerned seven-year-old who discovered his furry friend had fled.
At nearly 6’5” tall, searching for a small hamster is not easy. One must quite literally hit the ground, cell phone flashlight in hand, to begin the search and recovery efforts.
You see my friends; we’re dealing with a true mastermind escape artist. Pickles knows that once his race car cage is compromised, he’s off and running. He’s probably even packed a small bag of supplies and food for his journey.
Room by room, we searched for the little rodent. I found myself lifting up my children’s beds, moving dressers, and working up a sweat. If anything, hamster hunting is a great way to get your daily steps in and burn some serious calories.
Back to the search. My wife, Kasey would like you to believe she’s a rookie hamster detective, but don’t let her fool you. Within ten minutes of the search, she declared, “Pickles is behind the bathroom door!”
I quickly scurried down the hallway, carefully entering the bathroom, and when I turned on the lights there he was. Pickles glared up at me knowing he had once again been caught. I reached down and gently scooped him up.
Upon returning to the scene of the crime (the boy’s bedroom where his cage was) one thing was made clear. This escape was an inside job. You see friends, Pickles had an accomplice, this time my four-year-old son, Theodore.
The confession came quick, “I opened the cage doors because it’s funny!”
My definition of “funny” is the latest Jim Gaffigan standup comedy special, not letting a hamster loose in the house.
Stay tuned for the next chapter in the Pickles saga, as I’m sure he will break free any moment now. If you need me, I’ll be working on a patent for the world’s first hamster cage lock.