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Sunday, September 19, 2021

    The Squid: A Creature Feature

    Chad Brislawn
    A lifelong Muscatine resident, Chad Brislawn has a passion for motorcycles and writing. He writes No Baffles No Brakes, for Discover Muscatine newspaper.

    Muscatine Living

    Ah, the Squid! One of my favorite members of the animal kingdom. Derived from “Squirrelius Kidacious,” a long-lost descendant of So Cal surfers and racers, or Squirrely Kid for short.

    Squids are an interesting species. They can be found darting back and forth dangerously from parking lot to parking lot, popping wheelies, and attempting brake stands. They are easily spotted by their clear lack of protective gear and total disregard for rider safety. They resemble an actual squid in that they are usually comprised of a narrow frame with long, gangly, tentacle-like arms flailing about in overconfidence. What they lack in actually riding knowledge they certainly make up for in flare. With a vigorous mating call like that of an overpriced sport bike revving at top RPMs over and over again, the squid is sure to attract himself a suitable mate. Once a mate is found, the squid will dart off into the sunset through a couple pedestrians and a red light to live happily ever after.

    Squids, squirrely kids, a new rider with no real riding knowledge to speak of, and a dangerous abundance of dumb ideas meant to impress the crowd. These types of riders are a menace to the roadways and are great at giving riders in general a bad name. When you are coming up in the riding scene, it is more important to ride with people that are willing to show you the “tricks of the trade” so to speak, than it is to ride with people that are out there showing off. I always tell people; you look way cooler riding down the street at 55 miles per hour than you do sliding down it at 100. No matter the speed, two wheels on the ground is always the way to go.

    I even suggest for the brand-new rider to take a motorcycle safety course. I know several people that have taken this course and are much better riders because of it. The course will prepare you for things that you will encounter out on the road that you may have never considered before. A little planning ahead and some good helpful insight from fellow riders really goes a long way when you are first getting out there.

    Open riding instruction class enrollment can be found at www.eicc.edu under continuing education classes. Riding classes are around $175. Bikes and helmets are provided, and you will learn all the basic skills needed to keep the rubber side down for many miles to come.

    The reason I bring up the squid and its definition is because when we first get out there on two wheels, we all have a little squid in our veins. Bikes are cool! You want to get out there and tear it up and show it off. I get it. But you want to get out there and also be able to come home after. When on two wheels, the road is meant to be respected, and if you don’t you will pay for it. Don’t be a squid. Squids belong in the ocean.

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